AFC Didsbury: Mackie, Benson-May, Kendrick, Battersby (C), McDonald, Lee (Agyeman), Whiteley, Bishop, Vasko (Wedl), Kilgour (Smith), Menghini.
GOALS: Menghini (4), Vasko, Lee, Whiteley ASSISTS: Vasko, Kilgour, Bishop, Lee (2), Whiteley MAN OF THE MATCH: Menghini
Seventh Heaven for Didsbury
Humiliated. Embarrassed. Degraded.
No, this is not one of Kenner’s Saturday night conquests scraping the mascara out of her eye to reveal last night’s carnage. This was the feeling for the 12 lads that ‘turned up’ at their home ground on Sunday morning.
Once described as Didsbury’s “bogey” team, Didsbury’s front men picked passes out like a child picks a bogey. Direct, easily, quick and with a sweet tasting finish.
Barely had Manager Adam Musson burped his way through Little Mix’s latest hit single had Didsbury gone 3 up through a brace from Ross Menghini and a cracker from Pavol Vasko. Didsbury’s fans may need to savour these moments of Slovakian genius if Boris Johnson gets his way.
On the topic of Tory Hunts. Sunday was proof to Jeremy that doctors do work weekends. Dr Pete Kilgour grunted and growled his way through at least 60 minutes of hard work starting with the through ball for Menghini’s second of the day and ending with him sniffing out every bit of momentum Stretford had in the second half. Time for a strike me thinks.
Menghini was on fire and completed his hat trick before half time after bulleting a header from a Gaz Lee corner. He added his fourth and Didsbury’s fifth shortly before half time, after bringing down a Tom Whiteley shot that was heading for the corner flag to sweep home in to the far right corner.
On the subject of Didsbury’s midfield general, it is quite clear the fines system works. After taking a 50p fine in January for being able to hold up a pen with his breasts Whiteley has gone on a rampaging health kick culminating in him dropping 3 dress sizes in 2 months. His lack of belly now allows him to actually see the ball at his feet and his display on Sunday was nothing short of peerless.
It wasn’t total one way traffic with Didsbury’s back 4 standing firm in the face of some pressure either side of the half. The three times Stretford’s front men got in behind the defence, 2 of the shots whistled against the woodwork. The standard of physics teaching in this country has a lot to answer for as both Stretford and Didsbury players believed somehow the whole of the ball crossed the line but somehow sprung back in to play. I have no words. The other time Stretford had a chance on goal produced the save of the season from stand in goalkeeper Mackie. This brought the question of who is “Didsbury’s Number 1?” back on the agenda after Wayne Rogers gave up on football, drinking, friends and life for a nice pair of Whiteley sized boobs.
5-0 at half time seemed to wake Stretford up as they started to compete for the first time in the game. This was to be short lived as a poorly cleared corner landed on the chest of Gaz Lee who took one touch and volleyed the ball into the top left corner. Goal of the Season so far.
To round off the dominant display Whiteley hammered into the roof of the net after Gaz Lee’s audacious cross come shot lands right in the path of Whiteley.
Great to be back playing league games and a resounding win.
Words by John Battersby
AFC Didsbury accepts no liability for the content of this match report, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided, unless that information is subsequently confirmed in writing. If you are not the intended audience you are notified that disclosing, copying, distributing or taking any action in reliance on the contents of this information is strictly prohibited.