AFC Didsbury: Leighton, Hadfield (Johnson), McDonald (C), Whiteley, Lee, García García, Harrison, Kilgour (Darlington), Vasko, Corbett, Menghini (Kennedy).

Goals: (Own Goal), Kilgour
Assists: Lee, Darlington
Man of the Match: Kilgour

Unfortunately, the match report for this game has been lost in transit so we will not be describing the 10 goals that Moss Side scored against us...!

AFC Didsbury: Rogers, Hadfield, Battersby (C), McDonald, Jaffray, Lee, García García, Whiteley, Darlington, Corbett, Menghini.

Goals: García García, Corbett, Darlington
Assists: Corbett, García García, Lee
Man of the Match: Corbett

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."Big Ron Atkinson
On the back of a disappointing November in which Didsbury were twice eliminated from cup competitions on penalties, a league fixture against bottom club Joshua Brooks seemed the ideal tonic for a team looking to re-discover their early season form and end the successful 2014 year on a high.

Returning to his old club, Didsbury new boy Ross Menghini might have been expecting a red hot reception. He needn’t have worried as the freezing conditions and intermittent hail storms meant that not only did the Joshua Brooks supporters stay away, so too had most of the playing squad as the home team were barely able to scrape together a starting eleven.

Manager Adam Musson was missing for the fixture owing to his traditional yuletide visit to Santacon in London (google it!!). Rumours that he was employed for the day as one of the little helpers are unconfirmed at this stage.  Credit must go to Didsbury super-fan and stand in manager for the day, Janet Pilkington, who braved the cold as the only witness to this absolute turkey of a match.

Turning to the action, Didsbury started the game in a lively fashion, creating a number of half chances by looking to utilise their pace on the flanks and exploit the extremely suspect Joshua Brooks fullbacks. The opening goal arrived midway through the first half when prolific goal scorer Mike Corbett turned provider, his tempting cross from the right flank was met by the impressive Jorge Garcia-Garcia who found the net with a precise header.

As has so often been the case this season, the tendency of the Didsbury defence to overplay at the back led to mistakes and it was only the wastefulness of the Joshua Brooks forwards that let Didsbury off the hook.  Goalkeeper Wayne Rogers was only once troubled in the 1st half, saving very smartly at his front post to a well struck attempt from outside the area by the home side.

The half time whistle gave Didsbury the chance to introduce some fresh legs and once again the away side started the half brightly. Didsbury soon doubled their lead when Garcia- Garcia’s pass found Corbett at the edge of the area, who finished superbly from a tight angle with a shot high into the top left corner of the goal.

With a two goal cushion, Didsbury were in complete control of the game and began to create numerous openings. The game was livened up considerably when Didsbury defender Ben Jaffray was on the receiving end of a dangerous and some would say cowardly challenge from his opposing number. Captain John Battersby was quiche to jump to the defence of his teammate and made it abundantly clear that the young scamp would not be on his Christmas card list this year. From the resulting melee, Battersby and the offending player were both dismissed as both sides were reduced to 10 men. The Didsbury captain made sure the referee was fully aware of his disapproval for the decision and almost landed himself in further trouble with his protests.  He can expect a call from the FA this week.

This tear up seemed to give the home team a much needed wake up call and they finally began to ask questions of the Didsbury defence and commit men forward.  From one of these attacks, a hopeful ball was played into the box and centre-back Colin McDonald was very harshly judged to have fouled the Joshua Brooks striker leading to a penalty being awarded. For once, the spot kick gods looked favourably on Didsbury and the attempt was blazed wildly over the bar.

Didsbury made the most of this reprieve by immediately going on the attack and finding the killer 3rd goal. Once again the chance was fashioned down the right hand side as winger Gaz Lee found the onrushing Lloyd Darlington with a neat pull back which Darlington calmly slotted into the bottom left corner of the net.

This was not a classic Didsbury performance by any means. The conditions and the lacklustre opposition meant that this was a day where all that mattered was the 3 points. On the bright side, only the second clean sheet of the season ought to give the recently shaky defence some much needed confidence and with a win against Stretford Victoria on Sunday, Didsbury could go into 2015 in second place in the league where tougher challenges await.

Words by Ben Jaffray

AFC Didsbury: Leighton, Hadfield, Mackie (Peat), Battersby (C), Jaffray, Lee (Wallace), Harrison, Whiteley (Kilgour), Vasko (New), Corbett, Menghini.

Goals: Menghini, Harrison
Assists: Vasko
Man of the Match: Harrison
Sloppy Didsbury Dumped out of Cup…Again

Kilgour and Wallace can expect the phone call from the Pizza Hut ad team as once again Didsbury succumbed to some abject finishing and suicidal defending to crash out of a cup against far inferior opposition on penalties.

The game started brightly with Didsbury’s passing game in full flow and St Johns chasing shadows for the first 10minutes.  What seems to look like a copy and paste from almost every match report over the past 2 years:

“Didsbury’s pressure didn’t actually result in the opposition keeper making a save”

Meant Didsbury’s opening dominance evaporated and allowed St Johns to grow into the game.

Nothing could have made them grow into it more than the worst back pass this club has seen from captain Battersby.  He managed to pull off a 1 in 20 through ball from wide on the left to dissect defence and goalkeeper and straight into the path of the St Johns striker who made no mistake with the finish.

1 – 0 St Johns

With this unexpected and undeserved bonus gifted to them the Division 1 leaders grew into the game and Didsbury’s passing game started to allude them with both Mackie and Hadfield gifting huge opportunities with more sloppy play at the back.

Didsbury struggled to get their forwards into the game and Corbett and Menghini both had the ‘sulking striker’ look planted across their faces for most of the first half.

When the ball finally did get worked upfield Menghini twisted inside and out to create Didsbury’s first opportunity which was followed up by both Whiteley and Lee having speculative efforts over the bar.

At the break Didsbury were still comfortably the better team but with nothing to show for it.

With Musson firing the lads up with a classic rally call there was surely only one team scoring next.

And that was St Johns

Some more hopeless defending that hasn’t been seen since an Under 13s game between Blackburn Celtic Juniors and Burnley Minis a gently floated corner to the near post was inexcusably left by Lee on the line and with Leighton nowhere to be seen the ball goes directly in.  Sunday League at it’s finest.

2 – 0 St Johns.

This second goal seemed to spark both the team and the manager with a tactical switch to 3 at the back meant young Rick Peat took to the field in place of centre half Mackie.

With play becoming quicker and more direct Didsbury started to play far higher up the pitch and were duly rewarded when a clever free kick from Menghini went under the wall and into the bottom corner

1 – 2 St Johns

It was now all Didsbury with man of the match Matthew Harrison running the show in midfield.  Dominant in the first half and fired up in the second he met a beautiful cross from Pavol Vasko on the front left of the opposition area.  The header from this position was sublime, arrowing up and over the keeper into the top right hand corner.

2 – 2 and Didsbury on top.

With fresh legs in the form of Kilgour adding a real spark and pace in midfield Didsbury continued to build momentum knowing that there was no extra time coming.

Once more this season Didsbury’s final ball was not good enough with the St Johns keeper not registering a save of note at all in the closing stages with Rik Peats deflected effort cannoning off the post the closest Didsbury came to the winner.

With the clock ticking down and the skipper still fuming at his poor performance he decided to run half the pitch to stop poor Tricky getting kicked by the smallest man on the pitch.  All while Gaz New looked on 5 yards away.

The final whistle blew and we were going to penalties.

After the last exit Harrison and Jaffray kept their hands well and truly down their shorts when the question on who wanted to take came up.  The courageous 5 were Hadfield, Peat, Corbett, Menghini and Kilgour

Peat, Hadfield and Menghini all converting along with St Johns counterparts to leave the scores at 3 – 3.

Big Jim Leighton finally announced himself to the game with a fantastic save to put Didsbury in the driving seat.

Corbett converted the next along with St Johns final penalty.

This meant Kilgour could send Didsbury into Round 2.  Weird skip at the start of his run up didn’t bode well, horrible dribbler to the right hand side.  Keeper walks across and picks the ball up.

Into Sudden Death.

Pressure on Gaz New??  You clearly don’t know the Welshman.  Banged in to keep Didsbury in it.

With St Johns continuing to convert meant Jack ‘William’ Walllace needed score.  It wasn’t to be, as he sunk to his knees and the tears rolled down his cheeks his team mates couldn’t look him in the eye.

Hung, Drawn and Quartered his ancestor may have been but that is an easy exit from this world compared to the intolerable pain that follows around a decisive penalty miss.

We can only hope Wallace drags himself off the 5th Av floor in the early hours of Sunday morning to put in a performance to get us the 3 points against Joshua Brooks

Words from John Battersby

Goals: Menghini (2), Kennedy, Vasko, New
Assists: Kennedy, Whiteley, New, Menghini (2)
Man of the Match: Menghini

When I got home on Sunday I could not stop thinking... Mc’Donalds or KFC???  What had made him leave??? Why...

What a tough decision, I know.

There is only one dude who can queue up in Mc's and leave everything and everyone behind and go for KFC, and he knows it ;) we love you ..

Whatever made him change his mind that was after the match so let’s go four hours back in time...,

It was a gray cold November morning at Broadway Park, everything seemed to be ready for another engrossing match, till the middle of warming up when AFC realized that they are at the wrong pitch and their opponents are god knows where. Luckily our manager managed to sort that one out after making a quick call.

Before we started there was a queer smell floated in the air ,suddenly all eyes were on Mackie's fiancée , is this how Mackie is paying for his weeding , is this how you can afford to invite everyone for your posh dinner , is it ? is it Mackie?

No wonder, Rogers missed the ball few times in first 5 minutes, thanks god they didn't convert any of it.

Anyway, AFCD started playing tiqui-taca (who doesn’t know what is tiqui-taca just ask google) from the beginning with Jorge dictating the tempo from the middle, they were maintaining the possession well, good on the ball, without any fear going forward, quite solid at the back, with only three defenders as they switched back to famous 3-5-2 even though it is a not good formation, oppositions creating way more chances as they would against 4-4-2.

However, there is always something positive to pick in negative things, did not take long and Matt K.  the KFC dude sent beautiful pass behind the highly unorganized defense probably the worst I ever  seen in my entire life and Ross found himself one on one and with a Diego Costa’s style did not give any chance for keeper to stop him celebrating his 6th goal of the season…. 1:0 to AFC!!!

After the opening goal the game changed a bit, AFC slowed down, Broadway lads got better on the ball, with few lucky touches created few chances and left the AFC defenders once again thinking of themselves. Fortunately, their strikers’ ability were really poor so no goal for Broadway.

With 25 minutes gone, AFCD exchanged few balls in the middle of field, passing the ball forward to Matt K, who brilliantly controlled the ball, went through few players as if there weren't even there and once he reached the edge of the box he didn’t give the keeper any chance to stop his rocket shot. 2:0 to AFC!!! Everything seems to be back on the track after few weeks of disappointment.

We could see some bright moments in AFCD performance, co-operation between McDonald and Vasko was working really well with help from the middle from Garcia, Whitely and Harrison, the same on the other side Jaffray with Gaz Lee caused problems for Broadway’s defenders. Gaz Lee was playing his another great game ("if he just knew how good he is, he just has to believe in himself " as an old Irish would say who BTW did not disappoint again, teaching the opponents good behavior and some basic rules which one of their defenders obviously didn’t like it, kick the ball away, thought he would be a hero and true is he just proved how stupid he is.

AFCD managed to have some good corners till end of the first half and that was it pretty much it in first half.

In spite of the wining 2:0 AFCD wasn’t 100% satisfied with their performance, and wanted to improve even more with the second half ahead of them, score some more goals and more importantly not concede any.

With Gaz New about to get on the pitch that could be a whole new chapter…

Well, after he got on the pitch he received a good ball from right side, ran along the box and finished it with a decent shoot. No longer after that there was a good combination on the right side again and he crossed the ball in and Ross alias Costa nodded it in (after being 2 yards offside) I could clearly see it from my position. 3:0 to AFCD!!!!

Few subs were made, With Hadfield and Lloyd coming on, brought some fresh wind into AFCD’s sails some good passes and stable defending were made especially by Hadfield.

What happened then, it is difficult to put into words, it was quick and did cost Rogers his clean sheet ,everything started after Whiteley hilariously ending up on the floor , myself laughing my head off instead attacking the fella with the ball (pretty sure there was few more of us doing the same) , and that’s how Broadway got back to the game.

Didn’t take long for AFCD to shake off from the goal , Ross got into the box from right side and with a gentle chip set the ball for Vasko on the other side who comfortably volleyed it in. 4:1 !!!!

Similar chance has Lloyd few minutes later unfortunately the ball went above the bar… (It was good mate , but not quite Carling !!! )

Gaz new then finished his good performance with great goal as he sprinted through whole pitch, leaving the 40 years old dude behind him and not giving any chance to keeper , what an outstanding moment. 5:1 to AFCD !!!

Gaz found himself in few more chances afterwards,however, he did not manage score any more goals.

Broadway, added one more goal at the end, but that did not stop AFCD from having a nice Sunday , either in KFC or Mc'Donalds, personal preferences ...

All Didsbury players are looking forward to their X-mas Party and next Sunday match which is going to be live on ITV from 10:30

Words by Google Translator.... (Pavol Vasko)

Goals: Corbett
Assist: Whiteley
Man of the Match: Lee

Microcosm /'mʌɪkrə(ʊ)kɒz(ə)m/ noun

1.       A community, place, or situation regarded as encapsulating in miniature the characteristics of something much larger.

Let me put this definition into context by playing a laborious and rather boring guessing game with you, which after much deliberation, I’ve nicknamed ‘Predict the link’… First clue: What links the dates 19th May 2013, and 11th May 2014? Second clue: What do the figures £77m and £75m relate to? Thirdly: What do these two names have in common – Andre Villas Boas and Brendan Rodgers? I warned you the game was boring, but please just indulge me.

Answer-

19th May 2013 - the date Gareth Bale played his final game for Tottenham Hotspur. £77m is the reported fee Real Madrid stumped up for his services, and AVB is the Manager who was charged with rebuilding the squad after the loss of this sporting colossus.

11th May 2014 - the date Luis Suarez played his final game for Liverpool Football Club, £75m is the sum of money Barcelona used to steal him away to that God-forsaken hell hole, and Brendan Rodgers was the man given the impossible task of replacing the slightly ‘bitey’ Uruguayan genius.

Okay, so now for the final part of the conundrum… How do the date 15th May 2014; A pack of pickled onion monster munch and the promise of a pokey bum wank; and Adam Musson all fit into this mind-numbing  link game? You should have worked it out by now, but I’ll tell you the answer anyway.

15th May 2014 was the date Neil Creasey played his last competitive game for AFCD, the monster munch and promise are what he was sold for, and Adam Musson is the gentleman currently waiting for Virgin Trains ticket to London for Christmas so that he can collect payment. While waiting, the impossible job of replacing an AFCD legend has fallen squarely on his shoulders.

Now I was going to write a clever link about how we have replaced the irreplaceable Neil Creasy with big talent across the park, and as a result, we are currently mirroring these premier league giants on a much smaller scale. I’m not going to do that now due to time constraints. What I will say is that this is the strongest squad AFCD has ever had in terms of ability, and we now have quality in each position. Garcia Garcia, Kilgour, and Darlington have all brought culture to the midfield, Mangina is my player of the year so far, Hadfield has brought a calm head and a touch of class to the defence, and Kenners is dead good at warming up. So let me finish this section by saying Creasy is missed, the new lads are good, and as a team we are moving forward. Now on to the happenings on Sunday…

And so it was on a crisp Centenary remembrance Sunday morning in Stretford, that AFC Didsbury were looking to jump off the microcosmic boat, and do something that both Liverpool and Spurs have failed to do since losing their star men – play well and win. Trafford Mersey were the opponents, a place in the third round of the Manchester Amateur cup was the prize awaiting the victors, and the fighting spirit of our fallen hero’s would surely be needed if AFCD were to triumph.

Didsbury, for all of their recent problems, started the game brightly. The Full-backs Jaffray and Hadfield were calm and collected on the ball, the midfield were stroking the ball around confidently, and both Darlington and ‘Man of the Match’ Lee were constant threats down the wings. Even AFCD Captain  John ‘Quiche’ Battersby, who had brazenly set his stall out for the day by attempting to warm up in his Grandad’s cardigan (I suppose we all have our own ways of showing our respect on poppy day), was proving that even if you do dress like a pensioner, it doesn’t mean you will necessarily play like one.

It was during this period of dominance that AFCD carved out not one, but two golden opportunities to take the lead. The first chance was created when right-back Hadfield knocked an inch perfect ball into the path of the lively Darlington, sending him through on goal with no defenders in sight. It’s difficult to understand how the ball didn’t end up in the back of the net, however the words ‘barn door’ and ‘banjo’ spring to mind when thinking about Darlo’s finishing this season, and this time was no-exception. With only the keeper to beat, and an eternity to think about where he was going to put it, how he was going to celebrate, and whether to choose Goose or Venison for his Sunday dinner, he managed to skew his shot embarrassingly wide, and the score stayed level at 0-0. On a slightly lighter note, I believe he opted for foie gras as a starter.

Minutes later, a second guilt-edged chance fell to our cultured European import Jorge ‘George Shakira-shakira’ Garcia Garcia. After some great footwork from Corbett in the Trafford Mersey box, he found the impressive Spanish Midfielder with an excellent reverse ball, who managed to not-so-impressively blast over from six yards out. Rumours that he was heard muttering something about ‘anything Kilgour can do…’ under his breath as he made his way back into position in midfield, probably aren’t as wide of the mark as his most recent effort was.

Mid-way through the first half, against the run of play, there was a breakthrough. Trafford Mersey on a rare attack won themselves a corner on the right hand side. The ball was whipped into the box, and stand-in goalkeeper James Leighton (sorry Jimmy) initially did well to fight his way through a crowd of players and punch the ball away from his goal line. The AFCD defenders didn’t do enough to win the second ball, and after several deflections, miss-cues, and all-round calamity, the resultant pot-shot from the edge of the area ended up nestled in the bottom corner of the Didsbury goal. Proper Sunday league!

The game became scrappy, with few chances created by either side, and neither team really managing to take control. With both sets of players praying for the half-time whistle and the chance to re-group, the referee duly obliged.

Didsbury needed many things from the half-time team talk, but the Laurel and Hardy-esque sketch acted out by Manager Musson and Captain Quiche wasn’t one of them. Musson’s ideas were delivered with a similar level of clarity to that of Rain Man giving instructions… after suffering a major stroke and then double dropping to escape the pain for a night.

With the second half underway, 20 minutes passed before anything even remotely interesting happened – Gaz New was brought on to stand offside for the rest of the game (as a club, AFCD have a reputation for thinking outside of the box when it comes to tactics); Darlington was hacked down in the box by two clumsy defenders but the referee somehow missed it; and the tricky Jack Wallace was denied a clear goal scoring opportunity by the inept referee, after having been adjudged to have gained an unfair advantage by watching Trafford’s left back fall over his own feet.

Captain Quiche, fueled by weeks of Eggy-protein abuse, finally snapped and let the referee know exactly what he thought of his below average performance (people in glass houses JB). He ended up in the book for his troubles. Let’s hope this is the only time this season the red-mist descends on AFCD’s normally level-headed captain…

With time running out for Didsbury, a moment on magic turned the game on it’s head. Midfield general Whiteley picked the ball up on the edge of the area. Ignoring the opportunity to shoot at goal himself, he cleverly (and rather unselfishly), delivered a superb disguised pass into the feet of Corbett. With the quality of pass straight out of the top draw, and Corbett’s unquestionable ability to score easy chances carved out by his talented team mates, the outcome was inevitable – 1-1. Game on!

Trafford Mersey hung on for dear life, Matty Harrison did what comes naturally to him and missed a one-on-one to win the game, and Gaz New stayed offside (putting in the kind of performance ex-management headache John Corcoran would have been proud of). The referee blew for full-time and the match was decided on penalties – Didsbury lost… again.

While the result is heartbreaking, AFCD can take solace in the fact that the team played well, they battled, and they deserved a win. Maybe Adam Musson is on the verge of achieving something that neither AVB or Rogers have worked out how do yet – taking a great squad onto the next level.

Words (eventually) by Tom Whiteley.ord

AFC Didsbury: Rogers, Hadfield, Johnson, Battersby (C), Mackie, Lee, Whiteley, Kilgour (Darlington), Peat (New), García García (Stiff), Corbett.

Goals: Kilgour, Darlington, Hadfield
Assists: Whiteley, Corbett, New
Man of the Match: García García

Feeble Fallowfield Fluke Draw

Didsbury have been going through turbulent times in the past few weeks. No win in 2 games and a growing injury list that is even testing the 25 man strong squad, this game against accustomed league whipping boys Fallowfield FC was an ideal opportunity to get the season back on track.

The match saw pairing Stiff and Wayne reunited for the first time in over a year, asked in the pre match interview whether he thought the break-up of the Stayne contingent had a negative effect on the team and whether their coming back together could spark a revival for Didsbury, Rogers paused, gave the question some thought and perfectly summed up his response with the ever effective combination of the words ‘yes’ and ‘mate’.

Individually there were a number of good points to take away from the first half, Rick Peat enjoyed a lot of early success down the flank and was nearly awarded an assist when he set-up Jorge Garcia-Garcia, The Spaniard met the pull-back with a first time shot only to see his rising effort just evade the crossbar. Man of the match Jorge continued his solid start to the season and again was pivotal in instigating some trade mark tika taka football, made some solid tackles and frequently found himself in promising positions. Credit also for centre back Paul Johnson (overdue a testimonial) who connected well with an expertly crafted corner only to see the Fallowfield keeper save brilliantly at his far post.

Despite occasions of individual brilliance Didsbury lacked the cohesive teamwork that normally comes to them as second nature. This allowed Fallowfield to take a shock lead with an uncharacteristic moment of class that has somewhat eluded this team in previous encounters, the Fallowfield player found himself with time to control the ball on the corner of the box and magnificently curled the ball into the top corner leaving goalkeeper Rogers no chance… Not bad for a side that if analysed by OPTA would generate statistics akin with a flock of headless farmyard based birds.

A former Didsbury trialist was present on the side-lines shouting orders to his team mates. Having been shunned by trigger happy recruiter Adam Musson and then being unable to break into this calamity of a Fallowfield team questions really need to be asked of whether football is the right sport for this man. Unlike Brendan Rodgers our CIMA qualified manager Musson can now justify adding ‘ability to spot a dud’ to his ever expanding repertoire of managerial competencies.

John Battersby inadvertently put the butterfly effect theory to the test at half time. Although he will take credit for a managerial master stroke no one will truly know what might have happened if Lloyd Darlington had realised that he was not resident garage rapper Mennis, actually needed a pair of shin pads to play the game and was introduced to the field at half-time as intended. The 5 minute substitution delay while Darlington ran to pick up his pads allowed dug out destined Pete Kilgour to capitalise on some brilliant build up play and sumptuous through ball by Tom Whiteley to drive in the equaliser. Darlington then proceeded to bring an injection of energy and scored his first club goal moments after his delayed introduction. Mike Corbett unselfishly slotting the ball into his path before Darlington left the keeper rooted as he smashed the ball into the top corner. Unfortunately quantum physics is yet to devise a method for revealing the alternative parallels of Chaos Thoery, therefore, judgement will not be passed on the potential benefits of the preceding sequence of events.   

Didsbury were now firmly in the driving seat and Darlington almost became provider when he found fellow substitute New running into space, New’s first touch left the defender for dead and put him clear through on goal against the keeper. New’s strike went through the keepers legs but then somehow using a combination of his heel and complete luck the keeper managed to divert the ball past the post. This is probably the best piece of news Mike Hay will have heard since himself, Andy Murray and his fellow 1,617,989 yes voters were politely told to ‘sit back down and shut the **** up’. Hay missing in recent weeks has apparently been spotted rounding up clansmen in the Glens of Scotland to try and emulate the efforts of William Wallace, one way or another he will get his freedom.

Mike Corbett almost scored a contender for goal of the season when his stand-still chip was denied by the woodwork. The omens were becoming more apparent by the minute that this game was not going to pan out as Didsbury had planned.

The calibre of Fallowfields second goal was much more characteristic of their ability as a footballing side. The Didsbury defence would admit they probably should have done better but not even new-age keeper/sweeper Wayne Rogers or the outstretched 6ft3 chassis of quiche connoisseur John Battersby could prevent this scrappy goal being scored.

New picked up the ball on the left flank and inspired by shouts of ‘take him on’ by midfield marshall Tom Whiteley went past the Fallowfield right back before cutting inside on a mazy run. Considering they had never played together before the communication between Liam Hadfield and New was almost telepathic  - allowing the substitute to pick out the right backs marauding, pitch length run with the outside of his left boot. Hadfield showed great composure and out of nowhere arrowed an absolute screamer into the top corner. 3-2 to Didsbury with less than 10 minutes remaining.

Having being trolled on this very website making lewd gestures towards the lack of flaccidity present in Ex-player David Hargreaves underwear, the Fallowfield keeper clearly had a point to prove. This was evident when he made an appearance in the Didsbury 18 yard box for a corner in the dying moments of stoppage time. His 70 yard dash would have been classed as heroic had he made more of the pin-point cross to his head, however, the ball was bundled away to an onrushing Fallowfield player who shinned a feeble effort through the melee of players to equalise. 3-3 full time.

Didsbury players now move onto a cup game this weekend, hopefully there will be no rifts among the ranks following this result and the small fact each player will be breaking tooth and nail in an attempt to win the generous ‘AFCD Xmas Ticket Sales Incentive Scheme’ before November 28th is upon us…

Words by Gareth New

AFC Didsbury: Rogers, Hadfield (Johnson), Battersby (C), McDonald, Jaffray, Lee, Whiteley, Harrison, Vasko, García García, Kennedy (Mackie).

Goals: Whiteley, Vasko, Lee
Assists: McDonald, García García, Harrison
Man of the Match: Battersby

Didsbury Halt Juniors

On March 4th 1995, Ipswich Town were beaten 9-0 at home by Manchester United (they even let Roy Keane score – embarrassing). The Tractor Boys didn’t score in their next five games, and lost their next six on the bounce. Crushing defeats can break the weak-willed; so how would AFC Didsbury respond to their 6-1 reversal last time out? Today on a wind-swept Wythenshawe field, AFC Didsbury put on their shin pads (more of that later), got back on their horse, and rode it all the way to a spirited draw. To their credit, every Didsbury player managed to arrive punctually (take that, daylight saving time). However, solving that complex mathematical puzzle obviously took it out of the away side, because most of us were about 15 minutes late when it came to actually competing in the match itself. After just a couple of minutes a Halton Juniors attack down the right lead to a pull-back, which was finished into the far corner by their captain. Looking for a reply Didsbury committed men to a corner, which was dribbled not once but twice into the first defender by Gareth Lee, leading inexcusably to a 3-on-2 counter-attack. Their stocky and skilful left winger finished well with the outside of his boot, and memories of two weeks ago surely entered into the Didsbury players’ minds.

The response was defiant and immediate. Lee managed to finally control the ball, taking everyone including their right-back by surprise, and was taken down on the right flank. Colin McDonald eyed up the wind and the slope, and whipped his left around the ball. A mass of bodies tried to make contact as it headed towards the ‘keeper. Taking advantage of the confusion, Tom Whiteley claimed a goal that should perhaps be credited as an own goal, McDonald’s, or even to ‘the wind’. Opportunism at its best, 2-1.

With that, Didsbury were back. Pavol Vasko, Jorge García García and Matt Kennedy began to link up well; Matt Harrison and Whiteley began to dominate the midfield, and back four began to win their tussles against the shin-pad-less Mennis up top.

As an aside, I have a strange admiration for a player who, after witnessing the truly terrible injury suffered just two weeks ago, decided to eschew this injury-prevention measure. Apparently, when @MennisXCIX goes on rides at Alton Towers, he’s so confident he refuses to pull the bar down. When @MennisXCIX goes on holiday, he’s so confident he doesn’t even buy holiday insurance. When @MennisXCIX is changing a light bulb, he doesn’t bother to switch off the relevant lighting circuit. When @MennisXCIX buys an electrical appliance, he’s so confident he doesn’t even fill in the warranty form. I’ve become distracted, back to the game…

Now an even contest, Didsbury knew they had to make the most of the wind, slope and momentum, all of which were in their favour. Exotic playmaker García García got to the by-line and dinked a sumptuous cross to the back post. Meeting it was Vasko’s right boot, volleying confidently into the roof of the net. A goal made in mainland Europe, it may have upset some UKIP supporters, but it had AFC Didsbury’s in raptures. 2-2 half time.

The second half began without much to note. Halton Juniors had more of the ball, and with the slope now in their favour, had a strong territorial advantage. But with Ben Jaffray and Liam Hadfield making excellent interceptions, and the double-pivot of Whiteley and Harrison ably protecting captain, John Battersby, and McDonald, chances were few and far-between. A five minute break in proceedings further restricted the flow of the game. The ref, seeming believing he is paid by the hour, decided to lecture a large swathe of Halton Juniors’ players and supporters for their incessant claims for unpopular decisions. I spent the time thinking about how hard Mennis must be, and started to partially regret standing up for the ref as I did a few weeks ago. (Although I do stand by what I said, you can’t call a 60 year old man a f***ing c***.).

The break did us no good, and the front four of Halton Juniors began to twist and turn to greater effect. When it came, their goal was relatively simple, and almost an exact copy of our second. A cross was lifted to the back post, and their centre-midfielder met it sweetly on the volley giving goalkeeper, Wayne Rogers, no chance. 3-2.

Again, questions were asked of our character. If some of us fail to digest even the most basic of egg-and-pastry-based savoury foods, do we really have the stomach for the Mikey Williams Premiership fight? Vasko, determined to answer in the affirmative, continued to go at his man up the left. Finding half a yard, he clipped in a cross towards Harrison, who had taken over Kennedy’s Herculean task as the lone striker. Harrison competed well, and when his header was blocked the ball looped into the air just beyond the penalty spot. Lee swivelled and made contact with a difficult left footed volley, which positively sizzled into the bottom corner. 3-3.

Off the bench came Jonny Mackie and Paul Johnson, to provide much needed energy as Didsbury looked to stand firm. Halton threw on yet more forward-thinking players, but diligent and brave defending from all of Didsbury’s players kept the home side at bay. Time and again their quicksilver feet bought them half a yard for a shot, but time and again a Didsbury player was there to make a block – none more so than MOM, Battersby, who really earned his post-match flan.

With time running out the ball landed at the feet of one Juniors’ player, who had the chance to render all of our efforts fruitless. Out came Rogers, and with his outstretched left boot, he made a crucial stop, and secured us an incredibly hard-earned point.

We are not Ipswich Town 1994-1995. We are AFC Didsbury 2014-2015, and we’re back on track.

Words by Gareth Lee

AFC Didsbury: Rogers, Jaffray, Mackie, Hadfield (Walker), Kilgour (Johnson), Whiteley (C), Peat (Lee), García García (Richardson), Vasko, Corbett, Menghini.

Goals: Menghini
Assists: Peat
Man of the Match: Whiteley

Didsbury hearts are broken after Halton score six.

“Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And... always look on the bright side
of life...”

A lackadaisical display from Didsbury saw them succumb to their first defeat of the season at the hands of Halton Juniors. 

The opening exchanges were dominated by the visiting side who managed to carve open the Didsbury defence on a number of occasions. It came as no surprise to see them take the lead and quickly double their advantage within the first 30 minutes of proceedings.  Halton were certainly the better side, playing with intensity and pace, managing to exploit the defensive frailties that unusually characterised the Didsbury side.  Notable chances continued to present themselves to Halton as they struck the post when it was easier to score, missed an open goal from 6-yards and only a stellar block from part-time goalkeeper, full-time mariner Wayne Rogers, kept the score respectable before half-time.

Going forward, and to the surprise of absolutely no-one in either the replica shirt of AFC Didsbury (proudly sponsored by Fosters Fish and Chips*) or the stylish leisurewear range which can be purchased from the club shop**, Pete Kilgour attempted a left footed shot from range, which threatened the Halton goal. Very briefly. But I’m trying to keep this as positive as I can so bear with me. Barrels and scraping come to mind, I agree, but it did succeed in raising a smile or two. And it’s the tiny moments like that which matter.

Other than that small glimmer of hope, nothing seemed to fall for the team in grey as an attacking force but if I was forced to I could mention Jonny Mackie’s attempt to kick the ball as high as he could in the general direction of the goal, which under this post-modern criteria, seemed successful.

Unfortunately, at this point the game was curtailed for over an hour after a serious injury sustained to Jordan King from Halton Juniors. All at AFC Didsbury wish him a speedy recovery and hope he is back playing soon.

Before the ambulance could even leave the pitch the referee had restarted proceedings and Didsbury offered more in the attacking third, looking to play much shorter and keep possession. Half-time came and passed as Didsbury continued to press, in the hope of getting themselves back in the game. Pavol Vasko nearly converted a good move down the left, whilst Ross Menghini found a yard of space in the box but even they couldn’t quite make Didsbury dominance pay before further defensive lapses put the game beyond doubt.

First from a corner, Halton were able to bring the ball down within 2 yards of goal and fire comprehensively passed the hapless Rogers. They followed this soon after with a goal scored either by walking it through a static backline or from a rebound after a free kick 25 yards out which highlighted a static backline. At this point, whether this was the fourth or in fact the fifth goal conceded is meaningless. You will have literally moved further, and quicker, by reading this than the defence did in either episode.

The game started to meander from this point and many were surprised the ref didn’t blow for full time 20 minutes early, just because he could. Although given his contempt for all things middle-class why would he do that? He loved the sight of Didsbury losing as per. 20 minutes later and relief was granted by the Lee Mason lookalike (that’s as far as any resemblance goes) with the game eagerly poised at 6-1. Ross maintained his excellent start to the season with a header from close range after good work from Rick Peat on the right flank, defying his own resemblance to a certain German, world cup winning centre half. At the other end Halton rubbed further salt into the gaping wounds that were the back four by trying to outdo each other with their own miss of the season competition before even that got boring and some lad decided to smartly pick out the top bag for their sixth.

On any other occasion the day could be described as a success: it didn’t rain, I saw a couple of squirrels and Lewis Hamilton won the grand prix. But ultimately, like any song covered by James Leighton, Didsbury were slaughtered.

“Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see it’s all a show, keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you”
(Monty Python, Life of Brian).  

* if you wish to sponsor Didsbury’s premier Sunday League side and benefit from shameless plugs such as this, please contact Adam Musson (we have over 337 followers on twitter!)

** Free postage on all orders over £50

Words by Mike Corbett

AFC Didsbury: Rogers, Jaffray, Johnson, Battersby (C), Walker, Peat (Richardson) (New), Kilgour, Darlington, Vasko, García García, Menghini.

Goals: Menghini (3), Vasko
Assists: García García, Vasko, Menghini, Richardson
Man of the Match: Menghini

Didsbury Defiant Despite Defensive Wobbles

3 games, 3 wins. The fantastic start to the season for AFC Didsbury continued. The conditions were perfect for Sunday football; the morning dew shimmered in the sunlight and Gaz New was just finishing off his 12 pack of Cidre from Friday night’s team curry.

The game got off to a somewhat chaotic start with both teams failing to take control of the early possession. However, the deadlock was broken just before the ten minute mark when, out of nowhere, Albert’s tricky left winger was allowed to turn on the ball and run at the Didsbury defence. He managed to make some space for himself and got a shot away from outside the box, which squirmed under Wayne ‘yes mate’ Rogers’ outstretched arms. 

The lead was to only last a short amount of time. After some intricate play in the centre of midfield the ball found its way to Jorge García García (‘Jorgey Boy’) who picked out Ross Menghini on the edge of the area and with his back to goal took a neat little touch with the outside of his right boot, which gave him the space to smash home with his left . Clinical. It was met with a rousing applause by the Didsbury faithful, bar Mr. Corbett!

With stand in manager Tom ‘Dalglish’ Whiteley dressed to the nines for his debut on the sideline, he began to wave his managerial hammer and sickle; pulling Rick Peat and Pete Kilgour off in the space of a few minutes for some words of wisdom. However, what happened in the next 15 minutes must have had Whiteley questioning the job he had agreed to take on. The defensive work was as messy as (by Tom’s account) Pavol Vasko’s toilet fiasco on Saturday morning. The home side scored two goals in quick succession, the third was a Ronaldinho cross-cum-shot which flew over Rogers’ flailing arms, no thanks down to the captain’s shout of encouragement “ahh he’s missed it” before the ball had reached the goal.

The home side began arguing amongst themselves, presumably about who had the most luscious beard. Their previously buoyant ship had begun to rock under the tension that was mounting. The two centre backs, Black Beard and Zat Knight, whose touch on the ball was almost as heavy as the somewhat rotund central midfielder, were starting to look vulnerable. Didsbury stepped it up a gear and with the new tactics employed by Daglish Jr, they were starting to have some joy on the flanks. Vasko, tinder’s most popular member, picked out Ross from the by-line who again managed to slot the ball passed Albert’s keeper. The equalising goal came shortly after with Rogers making amends for his previous flap by quickly gathering the ball from an Albert corner and hoofing it up field, where MOM Ross flicked the ball on skilfully (or luckily) to the on rushing Vasko, who complimented the assist with a neat finish.

Half time came about and words were exchanged about the shambolic Didsbury defending, but heads were held high after a fight back that equalled Istanbul and the growing discontent amongst the home team’s angry pirates. The away team knew they could not let this slip. The second half saw Didsbury return to the form which has seen them go unbeaten at the start of the season. They were on top for the majority of the second half and were still having joy out on the flanks, albeit helped by the fact that Peter Kay was playing at right back for Albert. The screw was beginning to turn and with Sam Richardson picking out the run of Ross with a perfectly weighted pass he was able to slot home and seal all three points for the travelling fans.

I just want to add a quick note to the end of this report. If any of the Albert lads are reading this, beards went out of fashion when Matty Harrison shaved his off #mattyfacts

Words by Rick Peat

AFC Didsbury: Rogers, Hadfield, McDonald (C), Jaffray, Lee (Johnson), Darlington, Vasko, Kilgour (Mackie), Walker (New), García García, Kennedy.

Goals: Vasko, Kennedy, Kilgour
Assists: Kennedy, Lee, McDonald
Man of the Match: McDonald

Dogged Didsbury Do The Business 

AFC Didsbury continued their winning start to the season with a hard fought 3-2 victory over the newly promoted Albert 1874. 

Manager Adam Musson had a busy summer in the transfer market and has added some real quality in all areas of the pitch. Musson started with 5 of his new summer signings and it seems that he could teach Brendan Rodgers a thing or two about integrating new players into the team.

Didsbury started the game brightly and striker Matt Kennedy was unlucky to have an early penalty claim waved away by a referee that appeared to have forgotten his whistle for large parts of the game.

Albert slowly began to find their footing in the game and created the first clear chance as their striker forced a good save from defender turned goalkeeper Wayne Rogers. Rogers has enjoyed a solid start to the season and any questions about whether he could translate his pre-season form into the big leagues have been met with a resounding ‘Yes mate’. 

It was Didsbury who opened the scoring midway through the first half with a superb 25 yard strike from the ever impressive Pavol Vasko. The little Slovakian received a knock down from Matt Kennedy and with very little back lift was able to strike the ball on the half volley into the top corner. For those bemoaning the influx of overseas talent into the English game, here was the perfect response. They just don’t teach that on these shores. 

Didsbury then began to go through the motions for the remainder of the first half. Never really being troubled at the back but also failing to offer much of a threat going forward. This lethargic approach was punished with an Albert equaliser on the stroke of half time when a quick counter attack ruthlessly exposed Musson’s new beloved 3-5-2 formation.

A rousing half time speech from the Didsbury manager seemed to wake Didsbury from their first half slumber as both sides began to up the tempo. Unfortunately, it was Albert who got their noses in front as keeper Wayne Rogers spilled a cross from the left flank which presented the Albert right winger with a simple finish from 2 yards. You’re still a legend, mate.

Undeterred by this setback, Didsbury began pressing for an equaliser and the home fans did not have to wait long. Left back Jaffray found himself in unfamiliar territory in the centre midfield area and when closed down by the portly Albert midfielder, calmly lifted the ball over his head with a Gascoigne inspired piece of trickery before finding Gaz Lee on the right wing. The dangerous Lee ran at his marker and was bundled over in the box; the referee had no choice but to point to the spot. Matt Kennedy coolly converted his spot kick to add to his growing reputation as the Matt Le Tissier of the MASFL.

Albert sensing that the game was getting away from them began to employ some classic Sunday League rough house tactics. Winger Pavol Vasko was on the receiving end of some heavy tackles and at one point was punched by the imposing centre half which the referee inexplicably missed - #whyalwaysPav

New midfield signing Dr Pete Kilgour then went close for Didbsury with a long range left footed strike, which whistled past the post following a surgeon run! 

Albert almost had an equaliser when a last ditch tackle from terrier like new signing Liam Hadfield was required to prevent a certain goal. The desperate away supporters claimed a penalty but this would have been ruff on Didsbury.  

With less than 10 minutes of the game remaining, Man of the Match, Colin McDonald delivered a dangerous set piece from his own half which seemed to deceive the onrushing Albert goalkeeper and fell into the path of Kilgour to finish with scalpel like precision. 

Albert’s chances of getting something out of the game were effectively ended when their striker was sent off for directing expletives at the referee who clearly had no intention of accepting the invite to see him next Tuesday.

The final whistle came as a relief as the tiring home side were grateful to take all 3 points in an evenly matched contest. 

Words by Ben Jaffray