Name: John Battersby
AKA: JB / Batts / Marv / Janice / Timmy Trendy
Position: Attacking Centre Back / Left Forward
Wants to play like: Phil Jones
Actually plays like: Phil Babb
Previous Clubs: Maths FC, Heygarth Youth, Irby Juniors
Best performance: Vs. Lass O Gowrie, when the men stood up in the biting cold and put in a proper performance
Career Highlight: Receiving ‘Managers Player of the Year’ for 2010/11 season for the following reason:
“JB came to the very first league meeting”
Aims for the season: No own goals and top goal scorer amongst defenders
Trademark Skill: Hard to pick just the one.
1. Showing whoever is playing left wing how to actually take on the right back, by having natural pace!!
2. Hiding behind the opposite corner flag during corners in order to disguise my run to devastating effect.
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
AM: “Nick; you are the clubs 4th choice left back”
NE: “What’s my chances of getting a centre mid spot?”
Lifelong Ambition: Get AFCD into the first qualifying round of the FA Cup
Sponsored by: Abercrombie & Fitch – Bringing a bit of style to the club.
Worst Finisher: I would give it to MacHugh for his prowess in front of goal this season but having seen Quaye and Corbett’s penalties recently it’s a tough call…. Quaye every time
Best Looking: Dirk Hargreaves
Hardest: After witnessing us allow MUSC to do literally what they wanted all game and then rapidly launch in to congratulatory handshakes tells you all you need to know about how hard our team is!!
Most likely to: Walk to a cricket league meeting than get driven to a football one
Most skilful teammate: Has anyone seen Quaye on a night out lately?
Want to see on the team sheet: Dwayne – just one more cameo
Favourite Fixture: Parkway Dynamos – try to recreate ‘that’ moment when we realised we could play teams off the park
With me: P14 W14 D0 L0 Win Ratio: 100%
Without me: P5 W1 D1 L3 Win Ratio: 20%
What would Jamie Redknapp have to say about that stat?
What the manager thinks: Due to his rugged good looks, smashing personality and natural ability on the football pitch I am only left with ripping into his massively improving fashion sense!
What Jimmy thinks: Direct Quote: “You playing for your college team yet?”